Women Learning Thai… and some men too ;-)

“Mai pen rai” means “no problem” or “no worries”…

All languages are pointers to understanding the culture of a country or nation, and the Thai language is an excellent example of this. However, it is important to understand that an awareness of the culture, is also essential in understanding how to interpret the language. The two are twined together.

Let’s take a classic phrase in the Thai language as an example. Most visitors to Thailand leave with the familiar ring of “mai pen rai” in their minds. Literally translated this means “no problem” or “no worries”, and it is common for first time visitors to Thailand to think something along the lines of, “Wow, these people are amazing, nothing is a problem to them! They are so laid back, nothing worries them!”

On the face of it, this is, in many ways, true. The Thai people see intense emotions such as anger as a weakness, and do not like to lose face. It is important to them to be able to cope with situations calmly, and many would say this is an excellent asset, and indeed an element of the Thai culture which visitors find extremely appealing. Yet in truth, it is important to realise that sometimes there is a problem, and sometimes it’s a big one.

Thai people can be really angry and upset, even though they say “mai pen rai”. You can find out weeks later that what they really meant was something different. This can give rise to many misunderstandings when westerners react by saying “but you said so”, or, “but you told me that it didn’t matter”, when the Thai person has obviously grown furious.

For accurate interpretation of the Thai language, it is important to understand that it is a “HIGH CONTEXT” language, whereas Western languages tend to be of “LOW CONTEXT”.

In a high context language true meaning of what is being communicated can be established not just by the words and their meaning (as in low context languages), but also by the body language of the speaker, by what is NOT being said, and what should be understood without mentioning it (in this context) etc.

In the situation described above, the Thai person will have very clearly expressed what he/she wanted or meant, but not with words. A Thai counterpart would have understood, but as westerners listen more to the words than the context, a big misunderstanding may well have occurred, even though both people were correct according to their own culture.

To understand the Thai language, look deeper…

In order to gain a sound grasp of the Thai language it is essential to look deeper into the culture, and into the way things are said. You may learn from a book that “mai pen rai” literally means “no problem”, however holding conversations with Thai people, listening to Thai people, watching Thai people, reading between the lines, and being advised on cultural differences will provide you with a greater ability to understand what a Thai person really means. Or, to put it simply, if a Thai person is not smiling when they say “mai pen rai”, then generally there IS a problem….

Tina Gibbons
Lanta International Language School

Expat Guide on twitter, tweets…

Today, Sharon Gilor (expatsguide), tweeted Glen’s Seven Habits of Highly Ineffective Expats.

I have noticed in strangers, friends, and yes, even myself, seven habits that I think make you a very ineffective expat. My rookie year in China is nearing a close, so I plan on making a New Year’s resolution of sorts to break these bad habits that I know I have, and I sure to not be alone in them.

Habits of Highly Ineffective Expats: 6) Decadence…

“Don’t worry about spilling anything, the ayi will clean it”
“I don’t cook anymore, eating out is so cheap”

Number six is why I’m responding with a post and not in Glen’s comments.

While this is part of the attraction for a lot of people, I hope that you ask yourself what you think of the people who have that sort of a lifestyle back home.

What would I think? Well, I think kudos to them for attaining such a high standard of living.

Life is too short to waste doing what you don’t want to do, while avoiding what you do what to do. So go! Do! Live your life to the fullest! After all, it is your life.

When I left home as a teen, it was not long before I was fed up with having to do all of the washing, ironing, and cleaning. I even disliked the process of paying bills. And while I loved to cook intricate, fiddly meals (I still do), I found the daily grind of having to cook tedious.

Fast forward several years… after being married for a few months I knew exactly what I wanted.

I really really wanted wife…

That’s right. I wanted a wife.

I wanted someone else to pick up MY socks, iron MY clothes, and cook MY dinners too!

And when I moved to Borneo, I did just that. I got myself a ‘wife’. And it was grand.

I had nine years in Borneo with a live in who washed, ironed, cooked, cleaned, and even handled the weedwacker chap and occasional workmen.

But when I moved to Thailand I decided to forgo a full-time ‘wife’.

Why? Because during those nine years I discovered what men already knew.

Wives are a lot of work.

With a full-time wife you sometimes have to deal with a rolling litany of personal issues. Issues you might prefer to do without.

So now I don’t have a full-time wife. I have a Wednesday wife.

While she does not cook, she does wash, iron, clean my house, water the plants, and take my clothes for mending. She bosses the workmen and delivery men around. She even runs to 7 to pay my bills.

The habits of highly effective expats…

Face it. One of the big pluses of being an expat is the fantastic lifestyle! And a given, it is all up to you. Your choice.

I don’t choose to have all of the sinful pleasures that are available to expats living in Thailand. But there is a simple reason for that. Not everything suits me personally.

Just like I don’t choose to have a full-time maid, I don’t choose to have a car and driver either. I made this choice after waiting in too many lobbies, at too many store fronts, and on too many street corners for the driver to show. And yeah, paeng mâak!

So instead of the extra expense of a car and driver, I keep a few Bangkok taxis on speed dial for the long-hauls, and stick my arm out for the rest.

Oh, and I’m really really big on getting everything delivered. Everything I possibly can anyway.

Sometimes I order in on a Friday night because I don’t want to fight Bangkok traffic.

But wait! I’m not finished with the delivery angle. Because if Bangkok does something really well, it’s delivery.

Bangkok does indeed deliver. My vet does house calls. My Thai teacher does too. When I find the books I want, I contact Danny at DCO, who sends them over by motorcycle taxi (saves me money on taxis). And if I lose my head at Villa (which does not happen often), they send my groceries around after me.

I haven’t figured out Paragon. Yet.

And I travel. Extensively. But not ott. Flights are cheaper from SE Asia than from the West so I can. But a given, I also travel inside Thailand.

I know you didn’t ask for it, but… in my opinion, when given the opportunity, skipping the chance to see the world we live in would be the biggest sin of all. Italy, here I come…

Does all of this make me an ineffective Expat?

Heck no! It makes me a highly effective expat. For sure.

Ok, but does it make me a decadent expat? Hmmm…

Bottoms up…